Little Games of Love: A Novel Read online

  Daniel’s eyes started tearing up as he defended himself. “I didn’t mean to. I love you. I do! That girl means nothing to me.”

  Neither do I, clearly. Eva scoffed, “Obviously, you know nothing about love and loyalty. I can’t even look at you.” You were my everything, my whole world.

  “Babe, you can’t do this. Please!” he supplicated, bringing his hands to his head. “Give me another chance?” he kept begging, as he stared at her with his ocean blue irresistible eyes.

  She could feel her eyes beginning to water, but no! She couldn’t let it happen. I’m not going to cry. I won’t fall for your manipulative apology. “Another chance? For you to hurt me again, you mean? I trusted you, Daniel! And I know it’s not just one girl, I know there are a lot of girls. How could you do this to me? And why? I gave you my whole heart,” she screamed until she was completely out of breath. I can do this. Keep yourself together, Eva. She couldn’t show him how broken she really was—and anger was her only disguise.

  “Why would you say that? There are no other girls, it’s just you, babe, and I don’t have feelings for anyone else. I would never do anything to hurt you?”

  “Oh, no? Then what were you doing with that girl? Do you think I’m stupid?” she snapped, bringing her arms to her head in disbelief.

  He struggled to swallow, “It was a silly mistake. Please forgive me?”

  “I can’t believe that you don’t even have the decency to be honest with me at this point. Do you have any idea how I feel right now? Do you even care? There’s nothing else you need to hide. You’ve been caught; the least you could do is to be a man and admit it.”

  He came close to her again. “Nobody means anything to me. Babe, you are the one I love.”

  Then why Daniel? Why would you do this to me? “Oh, ok, so you love me, and the other girls are solely for fun, but I should be happy because you love me? What is wrong with you?” she screamed in anger.

  “That’s not what I said!”

  “Just leave, Daniel. We are done, and I never want to see you again,” she concluded and walked towards the door.

  “No, babe, please! Give me another chance. Please!” He kept insisting, but it was useless.

  Those were the last words Eva heard from Daniel as she closed the door on him before he could see her broken on the ground sobbing. She sat at the door with her hands covering her face, crying desperately for almost an hour, in disbelief.

  There was nothing, absolutely nothing that could justify his behavior. How could he do this? It didn’t make any sense to her how a human being could treat someone else’s feelings so recklessly—as if they didn’t matter at all. He had told her that he loved her, he promised her the world, but it was all lies. She felt used and dirty, resembling something disposable.

  CHAPTER 4

  Sinking

  Afternoons at home became rather monotonous for Eva after the break up. She listened to music and watched TV, but she refused to see or speak to anyone. She knew her mother had told Cece the news, but as much as her friend tried to connect with her, it was pointless. Eva had become a living zombie. She quit putting on any makeup to go to school and had stopped looking in the mirror since she no longer cared about appearance in the slightest.

  At school, she was all business. She went to her classes, avoiding speaking to anyone, and went back home as soon as she was done. Her mother was worried about her, she kept trying to cheer her up, to talk to her, but it was no use. The conversations were mostly the same every day. “Hi, honey, how are you? Are you feeling okay today? Do you want me to make you something to eat, or do you want to watch a movie with me?”

  “I’m okay, Mom. No thanks, I don’t need anything. I’m going to relax in my room.”

  “Do you want to talk about it? Maybe it would help.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it, Mom. There’s no point,” she would answer, avoiding eye contact. She had spent many restless nights in the past few weeks, and the bags under her eyes were quite noticeable.

  “Okay, I understand, heartbreak at your age seems unbearable, but I promise you are going to get over this.”

  No, I’m not. “How can you promise something like that? You don’t know that. You are not even over dad yet,” Eva vented, regretting her words the instant she said them. She had never spoken to her mother this way. Perhaps it was the tiredness or the depression talking, but the words came out like vomit.

  Her mother just stood there, perplexed. “Honey, I know you are going through a rough time, and I’m only trying to be here for you. Your dad has nothing to do with this conversation. All I know is that time helps to heal, and so does talking. Maybe you should talk to someone else? Whoever you want to. Talking to somebody else can really help you put things in perspective, you know?”

  That’s what her mom did all the time. Defused the conversation, so they never spoke about her father. “I don’t need to speak to anyone. I’m fine,” Eva jabbed. But what she truly was thinking was, I’m going to be screwed up forever.

  Her mother didn’t know, but it felt like just yesterday when she overheard her fighting with her father a few nights before he left. She was used to hearing them argue, but somehow, they always came to an agreement, so she never worried. Even though her father had a scary temper, he’d never been violent. It wasn’t until that day, their conversation turned into much more than a simple argument.

  It was one night when her father arrived home after work in a bad mood, something that happened rather frequently. “Is dinner ready yet, Melissa? I’m starving.”

  “It will be ready shortly, honey, give me twenty more minutes.” Her mother was almost done helping her with her homework as she somehow still managed to keep an eye on the oven.

  He slammed his briefcase down on the table. “I don’t understand why it takes you so long. You have plenty of time!”

  “I’m trying my best here, sweetie. There are a lot of things to do in this house besides cooking. Plus, Eva needs help.”

  “Yes, but come on, you are only working part-time, and you can’t even manage to have the dinner ready by the time I arrive home?”

  “Excuse me?” her mother said, looking offended by his comment. She then left her reading upstairs and went back down to the kitchen. “Why are you being so rude? If you had a bad day at work, you don’t have to take it out on me.”

  “I’m not! But you don’t want to start working full time, and yet, you still don’t have time to manage the simple household chores.” He seemed to be getting more agitated by the minute. “I’m the one with all the pressure to provide. Eva is going to school all day now, and she doesn’t need you!” Eva overheard as she stood close to the railings upstairs. She could see them from a distance but stayed low to the ground so they couldn’t see her.

  “Of course she needs me! How can you say that?” her mother complained. She worked only part-time, and though she didn’t make anything near what her father did, it afforded them incidentals. “I told you that I would get back to working full time when I felt that I was ready. I don’t understand. What is the big deal?”

  “You don’t understand! There is so much more I could be doing at work, so many opportunities I could be taking, and I can’t, because you won’t help me.”

  Her mother stayed quiet for a few seconds and took a few deep breaths. “Why can’t you?” she said, her voice softer now, trying to defuse the situation.

  He grew increasingly aggravated, nonetheless. “Because you won’t give me a break! If you worked full time, then at least I would have more freedom to try new things and further my career. We would have more income to support us, and I could take more chances. There are better-paying jobs that I would love to interview for, but I can’t because I’m too stressed out about losing my current job and not providing enough. On top of that, you don’t want us to move from this God-forsaken island, so my opp
ortunities are so limited.” He was screaming now, which frightened Eva.

  Her mother suddenly glanced anxiously upstairs, hoping she wasn’t anywhere to be seen. She looked scared, and even although Eva could see her, her mother didn’t notice her.

  “Well, if you truly feel this way, then you should move away on your own,” she said, looking hurt and frustrated.

  He then grabbed both of her shoulders tightly with her hands as he shook her furiously. “Why do you have to say things like that?” he screamed. Her mother cried loudly, and Eva just stood there, shocked. She didn’t know what to do. She respected her father too much and wasn’t about to stand up to him, but she feared for her mother. Tears started to pour down her cheeks as she watched the horrible scene unfold.

  ‘Let me go!” her mother screamed. “Get away from me!” she shouted, pulling away from him abruptly.

  “Melissa, I’m sorry. Please, I didn’t mean to,” he said with a more soothing and apologetic tone. “I’m happy, and I love our family. I only feel that I need to be doing more sometimes.”

  “How do you even have the nerve to say you are happy? I actually believed we were happy, but apparently, we are not enough for you, and I’m tired of your crap, Erik. I love it here, and I’m not moving away. Please go now. I want to be alone.”

  There was not much left for her father to say. He still seemed frustrated but finally began to let his guard down. “I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to hurt you… I love you. I promise,” he begged.

  “You don’t act like it, and it breaks my heart.”

  “Of course, I do. I have done so much for this family.”

  “You are unbelievable. Get out now!”

  “It’s impossible to talk to you, you know that?” her father said as he stormed out of the door.

  Eva should have felt relieved that he left, and her mother was no longer in danger, but she worried for him. She had never heard him scream this way, with such violence and resentment before, and she wondered what was going on with him. Unfortunately, there was no way for Eva to anticipate that this night would mean the beginning of the end for her parents.

  Three days later, her father left. She hated remembering her father this way, angry and violent. It wasn’t like him to act this way. At this point, she had told herself that she and her mother weren’t enough for him, and it was easier to stop remembering anything about him at all—if that was possible.

  As Eva sat by her bedroom window curled up in a ball, she tried to reminisce the good moments of her life, but almost every single one included either Daniel or her father. Sure, there were good moments with her mother and Cece. But at this moment, her disappointment for the men in her life was greater than anything else.

  Right there, staring at that window, she felt as if there was no longer a reason to smile or even try to. Who was she fooling? She was not okay, and hiding it was certainly not going to help. She didn’t think anything would help at this point if she was being honest.

  Though nobody had died, she felt the kind of grief people feel when they lose someone they love deeply. She had already experienced the loss of her father, and she was certain there could be nothing worse than having to live without him every day. But now that she had finally found somebody to hopefully spend forever with, and the pain of losing him felt as if it had been deeply intensified. It was almost as if she had to endure both losses at the same time, and her heart simply couldn’t bear it.

  Every day that passed was a struggle for her not to think about Daniel. And after crying herself to sleep that night, the only thing that helped was to hug her pillow as tight as she could until her energy finally gave out.

  The following morning, as Eva struggled to get out of bed, she decided it was time to tell Cece the whole truth. She had been avoiding this conversation since it was difficult for her to face her best friend after being such a fool.

  The past couple of weeks, Cece had tried to cheer her up. She had invited her to hang out several times and even encouraged her to attend a few parties, but Eva hadn’t even considered it. There was simply no light left in her. The school prom and graduation were coming up in a few weeks, and she was going to have to get her act together for her own sake.

  She picked up the phone and dialed Cece. It’s now or never. The moment Cece answered, “Hey,” she felt a bit of relief.

  “Hey. I’m so sorry I haven’t called you back,” Eva said, feeling a huge nod in her throat.

  Sounding concerned, Cece blurted, “Are you feeling better? Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m okay.” Not really. But I hope I will be. “I gotta tell you everything, and I don’t even know where to start.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Cece said with an affection that was hard to miss. Suddenly Eva didn’t feel afraid to talk anymore. She knew that her friend had her back, and she trusted every single hair on her body—as strange as that was. The moment she started venting, she couldn’t stop. She told her the whole story from beginning to end. She told her how he made her feel and how afraid she had been to lose him. And when the inevitable ending came, she burst into tears.

  “I can’t believe he did that to you. What an idiotic moron! Oh my God, Eva. If you would have told me sooner,” her voice broke. “I could have, I don’t know, done more,” Cece started crying on the phone with her.

  “No, no. I didn’t let anybody in my relationship with him, so I deserve it. I should have asked for your opinion or my mom’s, and maybe things would have been different. I was just so into him, and I was scared of ruining what we had, so I became blind.”

  “This is not your fault, Eva. You couldn’t have anticipated this outcome. You did well by living your relationship with him in private; it was nobody’s business. He is too full of himself and an asshole for cheating on you.”

  “Thanks. I know,” Eva said while a heavy tear dropped down her cheek. “And I’m sorry I haven’t spent much time with you. I hope I’m still your best friend.”

  “Duh! You will always be my ride and die. You can’t get rid of me.”

  You have no idea how much it means to me that you are in my life. “I missed you,” Eva uttered with a broken voice.

  “And I missed you too, silly! You know… on the one hand, it’s good he ended up being an idiot. I had already imagined you marrying him and leaving me all alone forever.”

  “Oh, come on. I almost forgot how dramatic you were. But we definitely have to catch up about what’s been going on with you.”

  “I will, but I warn you that it will get heated.”

  “I’m listening,” Eva sneered. As she listened to her friend talk about her recent boy adventures and her last kissing encounter with Robert which, didn’t go as well as she expected, she suddenly felt like her old self for the first time in a while.

  CHAPTER 5

  Don’t Lose Hope Just Yet

  As Eva walked with Cece to school in the morning her pulse started to raise as she stuttered, “Hey Cece, I know you won’t like this, but she stopped,“ I can’t go to prom… I just can’t.” Although she was starting to make emotional improvements, she still felt out of sorts. She was socializing a bit more in school, and she had brought her best friend back into her life, which was definite progress. At least I can establish a conversation with people now without wanting to cry. I gotta be okay and pull myself together. I need to. But no matter her efforts, she was nowhere near ready to attend what was supposed to be the most memorable party of her life.

  Cece’s jaw dropped. “Really? Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I’ve given a lot of thought about it, and I can’t,” she finished as she cleared a tear from her eyes.

  “Oh, Eva. I understand, Hun. Don’t worry. I kind of figured you weren’t going to feel up to it,” Cece said in a consoling tone.

  “But you have to go. I’m sure you will have a blast with your fr
iends and then tell me all about it. I’m just not ready. I don’t feel like dancing and pretending that I’m okay.”

  “Definitely not! If you don’t go to prom, I won’t either.”

  “What? No. You can’t do that. This is the biggest party of the year, and it only happens once. You can’t miss it, Cece. You love parties.”

  “I know, but it won’t be the same if you don’t come. Plus, some of my friends are not feeling too into it either, to be honest. They were talking about skipping prom and going to the cove instead. You know we can get alcohol there and get wasted. Come on, it will be much more fun! Don’t you think?” Cece said, resting her hand on Eva’s shoulder.

  “Wow, I didn’t know you wanted to skip prom. Since when you’ve been planning this?”

  “Honestly, I haven’t. I figured I would go with you, but I guess it was nice to know I had a plan B in case you didn’t want to, but if you want to go to prom, I’m down to go. Or we can go to the cove.”

  “I think I like the cove idea much better. I can manage being there with a few people, I think.”

  “Awesome! I will tell my friends, and it’s a plan.”

  “Okay, okay, anyways, I will confirm later and all,” Eva sighed.

  “Don’t ruin it, Eva, you are coming!”

  “Okay!”

  Eva was relieved that nobody was giving her a hard time about not going to prom and that she was able to do something more calm and quiet. She was also glad to have a friend like Cece that was there for her during these times. What would I do without her?

  That night before Eva went to sleep, she only had one simple wish… to be happy. She wished for destiny to point her in the right direction, and she hoped that soon enough, she would be granted a sign so that she could know in her heart what to do next.

  Prom day arrived rather quickly, and while everyone from her school was getting all dressed up to go to a fancy party, Eva was throwing on some jeans and a simple white tee at the last minute to go meet Cece at the cove.